Brett - 03/13/2014
As I sat and spoke to an old friend about God one evening, my thoughts drifted to a grievous sin which I once committed. While it is true I had asked to be forgiven for this act countless times, I believe it had become a stumblingblock of sorts.
Yes, I do believe in God the Father and His only begotten Son, Yeshua (Jesus). And, yes, I also believe in His love and His forgiveness. Yet something within me just wouldn't allow myself to move forward. I'm not saying more and more of God's Word wasn't being revealed to me over time, and I'm not saying the tenets of man-made religion were not being stripped from me either. I am saying, there was something holding me back.
So, as we sat there and my friend was talking, I was drifting off and I was thinking about how I really wanted to be forgiven for what I had done. Suddenly, my stomach felt as though I had eaten something extremely bitter; it was very much like some bitter almonds I had eaten days before. But this was progressively getting worse and very rapidly.
Much to my amazement, all of a sudden I could see and feel myself being sucked into a tunnel, albeit rectangular in shape. I could see the walls flying by me, just like one sees the walls as they speed through a tunnel in a vehicle. The only difference was, other than not being in a vehicle, it was more like being pulled back in a slingshot and then let go. What I saw next was something I never saw before. Even more interesting was the fact that I could actually feel what was happening to me.
Suddenly I was somewhere else and I no longer had that bitter feeling in my stomach. I was standing there (somewhere) and, as I looked to my left, I saw and thought, that's an angel. I'm 6'1" tall; he was probably a couple of feet taller than me and he was quite bright. My head immediately turned so I was facing forward. What I saw amazed me, just as much as what I said and what happened next. The exact words which came out of my mouth were, "Whoa, you're Yeshua!" Immediately, as I saw His face, I was on my knees and in what was quite probably a blink of an eye, I was overwhelmed with the horrible feeling of every sin I had committed in my life. The feeling of my sins which flooded my being in that instant forced my face to the ground. I tried to push myself up with my arms, but the weight of my sins were too much for me. I remember turning my head and I looked at the angel and said, "Kill me. I'm not worthy to be in His presence."
What happened next, I will never forget. The angel just stood there looking at me, but what I heard was Yeshua saying, "Brett, get up".So I got on my feet and what I saw is somewhat difficult to put into words. I was looking at Yeshua's smiling face and I no longer had that horrible weight of my sins pushing me down. Light was emanating from Him; not like the light from the sun, but extremely bright. His face was brighter than the sun or the brightness of an arc that is created when a welding rod first strikes metal, but I didn't need to squint my eyes.
Yeshua's light appeared and felt like purity, and it went right through me. That is the best way I am able describe His countenance: whatever the essence of purity is, that's what I saw and that's what I felt emanating from Yeshua. I believe that is what God is: purity, truth and love. Obviously, He is the Creator of all things, but those three things are what I felt. The look in Yeshua's eyes and His smile, it was the most genuine, honest, caring and sincere look I have ever seen; more so than the look of a new mother's face as she looks upon her baby for the first time after giving birth.
Yeshua said three more words to me: "I forgive you".In that instant, for the first time in more than 50 years, I actually understood what the word love meant. And I was raised in an unbroken home: father, mother, brothers, uncles, aunts, etc. I was told I was loved more times than I can count, but only now do I get it!
Then He reached out His hands, as if to give me a push, but without touching me or saying anything more (although more seemed to be said without words), I was thrown back to where I was sitting a couple of feet from my friend who was still talking. I was dumbfounded. I didn't say a word. My friend was still talking, although he was looking at me in a curious manner, like, are you listening? But he went on talking and I said nothing.
One or two days went by. Of course, my thoughts were consumed with what I saw or what I thought I saw. How do you say to someone, "Hey, I just saw and spoke to Yeshua?" I was actually wondering if I was nuts or something. So I prayed and asked for some help in this matter. I didn't want to get it wrong and I didn't want to tell my old friend or anyone else that I saw and spoke to Yeshua, if I was delusional. I came to realize I was not.
The stumblingblock which I referred to is no longer present. I consider myself to be one of the wealthiest people I know and I have next to nothing in this world, nor do I want anything. What I do have is a much greater understanding of Yeshua than I had before. The only way I am able to understand words like forgiveness and love is because of Yeshua.
Let me put it this way: Yeshua is the ultimate big brother.
Blessed is He who comes in the name of YaHoVaH; God bless Yeshua. Amen.